Joy In Marriage
Some of my former couples want to rediscover joy in marriage. I admire all of my couples when they set out for themselves the task of being married to the same person for the rest of his or her life. When I found a Ted Talk on Finding Joy (click here to see the video don’t click on the video) on an old friend’s Facebook page, I loved what she was talking about. Ingrid Fetell Lee’s ability to bring out the playful side of ourself is so refreshing! Because our joyful side unfortunately gets confined in squares and boxes, expectations and judgments.
The squares and boxes of expectations and losing sight of life as an adventure. One of the wonderful things about meditation is it has a way of loosening the fear of adventure — because after all — adventure exists in the unknown future — and feels kind of, well, round.
Round as joy?!?!
Ms Ingrid talks about round objects carrying more of an energy of joy. I thought of of Native Americans who lived in round structures.
Of the geodesic dome that Buckminster Fuller invented based on the strongest structures in nature. Living in a round structure makes a huge difference in the energies contained there. Round structures help reduce the use of utilities too.
What about the wedding ring?
What about the wedding ring? Nice and round, right? Depending on how or even whether as an Officiant you do a ring blessing, how could this notion of round being a symbol and way of carrying joy into the world be used as a reminder of more than eternity.
Not that eternity isn’t enough!
To set up a common ground with this Ted Talk, joy is defined as an “intense, momentary experience of positive emotion, one that makes us smile and laugh and feel like we want to jump up and down.”
Get the picture? Feel the feeling? When I’m not focusing on being nervous but on serving my couples in their wedding ceremony, I feel like jumping up in down after I’ve pronounced them married.
Although I might also add, I feel like I have a tail and I want to wag it because I’m so happy for the couple.
Joy That’s Fickle
I love feeling that way no matter what! Because as an aside, joy is awfully fickle if it depends on my couples, the weather, my dogs’ health, where I’m sitting or how much gas is in my car/what it will cost to fill the tank up.
Joy then, has to depend on an internal compass. Joy in marriage, depends on that same internal compass, not on the other.
So I came up with this little paragraph that I’ll offer my couples as an alternative to the ring blessing I usually do.
Check this little compliment to finding joy in marriage out and of course, leave me a comment about how it lands with you.
And I’m totally open to edits too. As in many things, this wording is just a place to start. The ring as a symbol can emphasize the potential of joy in marriage.
Draft Ring Blessing
“On your wedding day, you are full of joy for the love you’ve found in each other.
“You’re about to exchange a beautiful ring, a symbol of the unending joy that found you, and drew the two of you together to allow joy to flow through you to each other day after day.
“Joy comes not in having reason to be joyful, but in letting out from within you the joy you have CHOSEN to share with another, not BECAUSE of another.
“Today as you place this ring on your beloved’s finger, repeat these words, ‘I give you this ring as a symbol of the joy I feel in loving and committing myself to you. ‘”
I hope this option inspires you to let out some joy from within you, and maybe wear some pink and orange polka dots!
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